What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

In your humble opinion, why does the narcissist mistake kindness for weakness in some people?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

After a few moments he returns.

How do I stop someone from forcing/pestering me to become gay/bisexual when I already want to be straight?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Yes sir it is.

How do I identify fake friends in life?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

HELLO

Why are US customs agents so talkative? I cringed hard when a US customs agent asked me if I was on vacation. He doesn’t need to know why I went to another country as long as I am a U.S. citizen.

Sure no problem officer.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

What are the easiest stores for shoplifting?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

{RING} {RING}